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Digital boundaries are important for kids, but parents might need to make some changes too

Javeria Adenwalla

Javeria Adenwalla

Javeria is a writer, a yogi and an absolute lover of life. She reports live from the trenches of motherhood, stepping on metaphoric landmines, and sharing her experiences with unwavering optimism as she raises her three musketeers. Whenever life throws her off balance, she swivels back to zen mode with the power of yoga. When she’s not busy mastering the art of parenting,...
Created on Oct 30, 2023 · 8 mins read
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Being a parent is tough work, and we all know it’s not a competition. But let’s be real, who wouldn’t want to win the coveted “Best Parent Award” from their child? Unfortunately, today’s topic isn’t going to get you there. In fact, it might even earn you a few eye rolls and an exasperated sigh or two from your little ones. While this particular topic may not get you the title of “Best Parent,” it will certainly earn you a medal of honour when it comes to reaping the benefits of setting boundaries during the holidays. So put on your brave face and get ready to say “no” to your kids, because we’re about to tackle the tough subject of setting boundaries.

As technology continues to play an integral role in our lives, it becomes increasingly important to establish digital boundaries with our children. With the school holidays approaching, it’s important to think about how we can create a balance between screen time and other activities that will help children grow and thrive.

In this article, we will explore why digital boundaries are necessary, how to establish them, and suggest ways to place them for consistent effect.

Why digital boundaries are necessary

It’s no secret that the internet and digital devices have taken over our lives. I mean, I can barely function without my phone! But the problem is that kids are growing up with these devices as their BFFs. And while technology is great, it’s not all rainbows and unicorns. Kids are spending way too much time online, which can lead to some serious issues like stumbling upon inappropriate content, getting bullied online, and becoming addicted to social media. So, parents need to set some digital rules to make sure their little ones stay safe and don’t end up turning into screen zombies!


How to establish digital boundaries

Establishing digital boundaries with your children requires a proactive approach and a whole lot of practice at maintaining a poker face!

Here are a few steps to get started:

Getting your partner on board

Kids love technology! And it’s not just the kids – even adults like you and I can’t seem to put down our phones these days. If only one of you is enforcing the rules, it’s easy for the kids to play you against each other. But when both of you are on the same page, it sends a clear message to the little ones that the rules are non-negotiable.

Plus, let’s be real, setting digital boundaries for your kids isn’t just about them – it’s about you too. You don’t want to be constantly policing their screen time and feeling like the bad guy. When you and your partner are united in your approach, it takes the pressure off both of you and allows you to enjoy the holidays  together.

Understand your child’s digital world

Understanding your child’s digital world is crucial before setting any digital boundaries, especially during school holidays when they may have more free time to spend online. By knowing what apps and websites your child uses and who they communicate with online, you can make informed decisions about what boundaries to set and why.

For instance, if you discover that your child is spending most of their time on social media chatting, you might decide to limit their screen time. On the other hand, if you find out that they’re using educational apps or researching topics they’re passionate about, you might feel more comfortable allowing them some extra time.

Once upon a not-so-distant past, I was totally clueless about my kids’ digital world, but I didn’t want to be clueless forever. So I decided to join the party and made myself an account in Roblox and Minecraft, and the kids and I started creating these cool ‘Shorts’ together while trying to figure out the risks like if those clips are really staying offline. Now, I’m not just a “cool mum”, but also a savvy one who can make informed decisions. Instead of freaking out about the unknown, which yours truly been guilty of doing before, I experienced it with my kids to understand.

Ultimately, the goal is to create a safe and healthy digital environment for your child, and that starts with understanding their digital habits and setting appropriate boundaries based on that understanding. So, take the time to chat with your kid and get to know their digital world – it will pay off in the long run.

Have open communication

Having a discussion with children before making rules for the use of screens during holidays is crucial. Here’s why:

  1. It allows children to feel like they have a voice and are being heard in the decision-making process. This can help to foster a sense of responsibility and ownership for following the rules that are established.
  1. When kids get a say in making the rules, they get a better idea of why they’re in place. And when they get that understanding, they’re more likely to follow them. Creating this space of respect and inclusion, digital boundaries your tween in a healthy and productive way.
  1. When parents talk with their kids about how too much screen time can affect their health, sleep, and friendships, it can help them be aware and make smart choices about how much they use their screens.
  1. When families can have relaxed and fun chats, it helps create a happy vibe and makes kids feel good about going to their parents with anything they’re wondering or worried about regarding the rules.
  1. Through clear communication and a serious discussion of technology boundaries and their importance, parents can create an environment that fosters mutual respect and understanding.

Create a Technology Contract

Have you ever thought about creating a plan for your kid’s screen time? This might sound like a boring task, but trust me, it’ll save you a headache in the long run. The plan should cover things like when, where, and how they can use their devices. Be sure to include the following two aspects in the technology contract.

  • Establish screen-free times: Establish times during the day when digital devices are not allowed. This could be during mealtimes, before bedtime, or during family activities.
  • Create a technology-free zone: Create a technology-free zone in your home where digital devices are not allowed. This could be the dinner table, the bedroom, or the living room.
  • Set consequences: Establish consequences for breaking digital boundaries. This could include limiting screen time or taking away digital devices for a set period of time.

You’ll also want to make some rules about how much screen time they can have and what kind of content is allowed (we don’t want them getting into anything they shouldn’t be). By creating a digital plan, you’ll be setting clear expectations and boundaries for kid’s screen time, and that means less stress for you.

Lead by example

Alrighty then, brace yourself for the hardest part of this whole shindig. It’s like getting a tooth pulled, but worse. We gotta have rules for everyone in the house, even the parents. Yep, you heard me right.

A moment of silence as we let that sink in and now follows the heavy part of admitting that deep down you agree that’s not only the right way but the only way to go. Let’s be honest, we all can do with a little bit of digital detoxing for ourselves. Yes, I am referring to the idle scrolling on social media that starts out by meaning to kill five minutes but ends up eating a whole good hour.

Children learn by example, so it’s important to lead by example. Avoid using digital devices during family time and be mindful of your own digital consumption.

Ways to place digital boundaries for a consistent effect

Keeping those digital rules consistent is like keeping a straight face while eating a spoonful of cinnamon – tricky, but doable with a little practice and some smart tricks up your sleeve.

I understand the struggle. It may be a tough world out there but the real battle is about to begin right under your roof. But don’t worry, things are going to get smoother. To make sure you’re strapped in for the ride, here’s a pro-tip for all you modern-day parents out there:


Once you see kids consistently acknowledging digital boundaries you must praise them for it. Praising children for upholding digital boundaries can be an effective way to reinforce positive behaviour and builds their self-esteem.

Use parental control software

Use parental control software to block inappropriate content and set time limits on your child’s digital device.

Encourage alternative activities

Encourage your child to engage in alternative activities such as reading, playing outside, or spending time with friends.

And there you have it. Setting digital boundaries with your children during school holidays is essential, but it doesn’t have to be a daunting task. As parents, we are all too familiar with the challenges of raising kids in a digital age. It can be tricky to maintain a healthy relationship with technology, especially if one is not mindful of the content being consumed.

With a little planning, open communication, and understanding, you can create a healthy balance between screen time and other activities that will help your children grow and thrive.

Just remember, it’s not about winning the “Best Parent Award” – it’s about creating a safe and enjoyable environment for your children to learn and play. So go forth and set those boundaries, and don’t forget to have a few laughs along the way! Who knows, maybe one day, you’ll earn that coveted “Best Parent Award” after all – or at least a medal for surviving the school holidays with your sanity intact!

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