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All of the ways that parenting made me a better person

Nikki Stevenson

Nikki Stevenson

Nikki is a parenting writer and a mom to three wild boys who keep her on her toes (and occasionally make her question her sanity). With over 15 years of experience in the parenting industry, she has more tips and tricks than Mary Poppins on speed dial. When she's not typing away at her keyboard, you can find her sipping on coffee, hiding in the bathroom for five minutes of...
Created on Oct 30, 2023 · 4 mins read

Becoming a parent is an awe-inspiring, life-altering journey, – one that is as challenging as it is rewarding. Over the years, I have discovered that parenting is more than just guiding another human through life. It’s a deeply transformative experience that affects us fundamentally, shaping us into better individuals. The skill sets we cultivate as parents benefit not only our children but also our personal growth. It’s about discovering patience amidst the chaos, building resilience amidst the trials, nurturing kindness, and experiencing the true essence of unconditional love. From mastering the art of organisation to enhancing our communication skills, the journey of parenting moulds us into better versions of ourselves. These are just some of the lessons I have learned as a parent.

Patience


Parenting is often a test of patience. The never-ending questions, the middle-of-the-night cries, the constant need for attention – all of these serve as daily exercises in cultivating patience. Every moment, every query, and every challenge pushes us to find that tranquil place within ourselves, a place of endless patience and understanding. This invaluable skill extends far beyond the confines of parenting, helping us navigate life’s complexities with a serene and composed mindset.

Resilience


Resilience is another gift that parenting has given me. It teaches us to weather the storm, no matter how intense or long. Be it a middle-of-the-night fever scare, a public tantrum, or a heated teenage argument, every challenge strengthens our resolve, builds our courage, and amplifies our resilience. We learn to absorb setbacks with grace and rise stronger, becoming more confident and self-assured individuals in all aspects of life.


Emotional Intelligence


Emotional intelligence forms the bedrock of gentle parenting. This approach, emphasising empathy, understanding, and respect, has nudged me towards deeper emotional awareness and sensitivity. As parents, we can learn to see the world through our children’s eyes, understanding their fears, joys, and confusions. This newfound emotional intelligence allows us to build compassionate and empathetic relationships, transforming not just our family dynamics but all our interactions.

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Communication


Parenting opens up a new world of communication. As an authoritative parent, I learned the importance of clear, effective communication that respects a child’s viewpoint while also setting necessary boundaries. From explaining the rationale behind rules to discussing the consequences of actions, parenting helped me master the art of communication. This skill extends beyond parenting, enriching personal and professional relationships.

Unconditional Love


Perhaps the most profound lesson of parenting is learning the true meaning of unconditional love. We find ourselves loving our children beyond measure, despite the sleepless nights, the messy rooms, and the occasional rebelliousness. This unconditional love expands our capacity for empathy, kindness, and acceptance, transforming our relationship with our children and our interactions with the world.

Adaptability


Adaptability is a critical parenting skill. My children presented me with new challenges and needs with each developmental stage. I had to learn to adapt strategies, adjusting our approach based on our children’s unique needs and personalities. This flexibility and open-mindedness will help us become more adaptable in other life scenarios, boosting our problem-solving capabilities and enhancing our ability to cope with change.

Organisation


With parenting comes the responsibility of managing multiple schedules, activities, and chores. Balancing school schedules, meal times, recreational activities, and our own personal and professional commitments pushes us to become masters of organisation. This skill spills over into all areas of our lives, enhancing our efficiency and productivity. I started parenthood, a master at procrastination, very quickly that life as a parent can be unpredictable. If you don’t do what needs to be done now, you may not have the chance to do it at all. I can proudly say I now juggle the schedules of three boys, making rugby matches, swimming practice, work commitments, and date night happen in a day with the right amount of planning and finesse. It takes time to figure out, but it is a great skill that parenting can teach us.

Leadership


Another unexpected lesson from parenting is leadership. As parents, we guide our children through life, instilling values, teaching right from wrong, and trying as hard as possible to lead by example. This responsibility enhances our leadership skills, teaching us the art of motivation, inspiration, and influence.

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The Gift of Growth from Our Own Parents


Our own parents played an instrumental role in shaping us. The respect, independence, and confidence they instilled in us are invaluable lessons that have shaped my parenting journey and overall personality. From them, we learned the importance of providing support while also encouraging independence – a delicate balance vital in nurturing resilient, self-reliant children. And as the wheel inevitably turns, so your children will take what you have taught them to parent your grandchildren one day.

Parenting is a journey of immense personal growth and transformation. The skills we learn, the changes we undergo, and the lessons we glean are invaluable. Embrace this journey with all its ups and even the downs because each step, each challenge, and each joy presents an opportunity for growth, not just for your child but for you as well. The beautiful paradox of parenting is that as we help our children grow, we grow too, evolving into better, more enlightened versions of ourselves.


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