There’s an old saying that you’re the best kind of mum – until you actually become one. We all go in with the best of intentions, but the reality is most of us are just surviving, one day at a time, because you quickly realise that being a mum is really bloody hard. Well for most of us that is… except for a chosen few. We all know them, usually our mother’s group consist of...
Meet Fiona. Mum of two beautiful boys and the Founder of bake believe. It’s what I like to call the ‘Marley Spoon‘ of baking. Perfectly packaged boxes of baking essentials, delivered to your door, so that you can pull off a masterpiece for your little one’s special occasion – whether you are a seasoned baker or not! I first met Fiona over instagram and was lucky enough to receive one of her clever packages right...
Emmy is the founder of Kiindred and mother to 3 little ones.
Over the last 4 years, she has worked with some of the most credible experts in the parenting space and is a keen contributor on all things parenthood.
There is nothing that brings on mum guilt more than working from home with a toddler in tow. As I am writing this, my eldest child just asked me “how much longer do you need to work for mama?” followed by “Oh… 10 minutes is a long time!”
Cue. Instant. Guilt.
The best explanation I could offer her was “Mama has to work so she can buy you nice things”… but that really didn’t cut it. She refused to accept this as an excuse for being on my computer.
If you are faced with an unexpected work from home day or this has become your new normal (thanks to COVID-19) – you’re going to need to plan! Otherwise you will end up frustrated at not being able to achieve those deadlines and guilty for not giving your little one what they need. It’s only natural for them to want more of your time and with a bit of planning – you can achieve both!
Child Behaviour Expert, Stephanie Wicker from Simply Kids shares 12 simple and practical ways to keep cooperation levels up throughout the day and ensure it runs smoothly. Tips 8, 9 and 11 have been gamechangers for me.
1. Have realistic expectations for yourself and your child
We’ll begin with the most obvious and that is having realistic expectations. It’s okay to let a few things slide if it means maintaining your sanity! Moving through our list, I urge you to follow your instincts and take on board the things you can and leave behind the things that can be for another day.
2. Plan your day strategically
Daily schedules can fill quickly, especially when you throw a baby or toddler into the mix! Starting off on the right foot is essential. When you are planning your work day (or week) be sure to incorporate some strategy. Feeding, sleeping and nappy changing should be scheduled into your planner. Not because changing nappies are concurrent but because they will take time and it’s easy for time to slip by without our attention leaving us feeling overwhelmed and chasing unattainable goals.
3. Create a routine that works for you and stick with it
I’m a big believer in routines! The brain is drawn to predictability and when we create durable routines it thrives. We can see the benefits in routine with our youngsters as well. They become more confident and cooperative (bonus!) once they’ve settled in and find their safety net. Create a routine that works for you and stick with it. This can be as simple as going to the same kid friendly café each morning for your coffee and hotspot.
4. Write a daily to-do list
Let’s get organised. Daily to-do lists are a must have! At the start of each week I write my to-do list and as the days pass, I cross off what I’ve finished and outsource what I haven’t. I put all my attention into tasks that must be done by me and leave the rest up to my team.
5. Wake up early
Each morning I wake up with the sun. This allows me to meditate, reply to important emails and run through my to-do list before time for breakfast! There is so much that can be accomplished early in the day that allows more space to enjoy our family AND our business.
6. Think ahead for short cuts and ease
Thinking ahead is an absolute life saver. Ask your friends and search online for nifty shortcuts and hacks making your day a lot easier. You can make a mental note of all the local parks with child-lock gates. You can acquire a list of the wifi hot spots in walking distance. Think ahead and save yourself a headache!
7. Schedule time with them in your calendar for ten minute blocks
Making those connections throughout the day can feel time consuming, especially when you have the added pressure of running a successful business from home. Scheduling 1:1 time into your planner removes any guilt or pressure around floor time with your youngster. If it’s in the planner, it’s part of your business plan!
Believe me, raising happy, connected children is absolutely part of a successful business.
8. Spend ten minutes of 1:1 time, simply on the floor engaging in their interests – with your phone on silent
During your planned ten minute block, make it meaningful by turning the phone on silent (or even better, out of reach) and engage in play and conversations your child is interested in. Enter into their world for the full ten minutes and watch your stress slip away as everything becomes simpler. Kids have a way of seeing the world so simply and beautifully. If you allow it, you will too. Floor time with children can be as therapeutic as journaling or yoga.
9. Incorporate small gestures between conference calls and loading the dishwasher that go a long way
High-fives, back scratches and quick winks can go a long way in maintaining your connection with your kiddos throughout the working day. It doesn’t take a minute to give a high-five to your son as you walk past to refill your water bottle – watch the difference it makes in your day as well.
10. Share time through associated activities, so it’s not time “out” of your day but time already “in” your day
I love sharing the idea of associated activities with busy mamas. There is so much in our day already, so adding all these little extras can seem overwhelming. However, there is a beautiful way to boost connections with our little ones without “losing any more time”. That is associations. Begin incorporating your little one into activities you already do. Brushing teeth, doing yoga, walking the dog, going for coffee (babyccino!!) are all opportunities to use the time that already exists in your day for extra connection with your child.
11. Replace your concept of “time”
Time is one of those pesky things in our lives that we have zero control over. The concept of how much time we have in the day, can lead to anxiety around time-efficiency and productivity. One simple hack is replacing our concept of “time” with space. As soon as we begin saying “space” our brain drops the resistance and begins to flow again. When you are finding yourself in a rush and feeling pressure around time, tell yourself you have ten minutes of space and feel your brain gently relax, accept and adapt. Your thoughts will begin flowing again and the way forward can become clearer.
12. Don’t expect to get it perfect every day
So, this is a whopper of a list and no one can expect to get it perfect every day! The good news is that children are much more flexible than we are. They bounce back faster and learn easier than we do. That means the pressure of getting it perfect is out the window. Just do your best, enjoy taking breaks and find a routine that works for you. I promise that is enough!
Visit the Kiindred Expert Series to learn more about Stephanie’s evidence-based solutions, to ensure your child grows to be emotionally strong, independent and resilient – setting them up for success in the future.
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