Will my partner still find me attractive?
Emmy Samtani
Emmy Samtani
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Finding confidence is never an easy thing to do. Feeling comfortable in your body is difficult, as women are constantly told to look a certain way to be “sexy” or “beautiful”. We all know that when your body changes your self-esteem might be challenged. Those extra lumps, bumps, and lovely stretch marks aren’t always the most welcomed adjustments.
When your belly grows to the size of a basketball, you might feel like you’ve lost yourself, wondering if your partner can still find you as sexy as before. Rest assured, if you know this one’s a keeper, they will love every inch of you, especially if you’re creating a life!
Even though confidence can be difficult to muster, try to trust your partner when they tell you how beautiful you are pregnant. It’s beyond easy to brush off these compliments as lies but you should embrace them! Believe in that pregnancy glow, mama! Your skin, hair, nails, and overall appearance will radiate. A changing body is not always loved by us women, but here are a few ways you can learn to love your new bod.
1. Words of affirmation
Every morning before you do anything else look at yourself in the mirror and give yourself some positive words. Yes, literally speak these compliments out loud to yourself. Notice how your hair is shining more than normal or your skin is looking fresh. List at least 5 things you are loving about yourself and notice the positive feelings that will come. A little self love goes a long way!
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2. Have open communication with your partner
If you’re feeling increasingly unsexy and it’s impacting your moves in the bedroom, talk about it. It’s likely that your partner has no idea how you’re feeling about your looks because they’ll be loving all the changes. Your curves might make you feel heavy and unattractive, while your partner can’t get enough of them. Until they know how you’re feeling your communication might be strained. Take the time to say, “I’m just not feeling attractive,” and they can then find ways to reassure you.
3. Find clothing that fits
Start to pack up your pre-pregnancy clothes that you know will not fit. Those jeans that take a village to put on? Toss em for now! Leaving them out to compare your current self to your old one will only put you in a negative headspace. Take yourself to the shops and pick up some new stretchy yet stylish pieces that will make you love your bump. Making this change will help you accept your new body and feel confident in the clothing that suits it.
4. Get moving
Pregnancy can leave you feeling more fatigued than ever which is not good for your emotional state sometimes. If you allow yourself to get sucked into fatigue and inactivity, you might feel stronger sadness, which is linked to poorer self image and esteem. Fresh air and the kick of endorphins do wonders for your mood. When you feel good about yourself for getting active it’s likely you’ll notice a more positive image of yourself as well.
5. Take a social media break
The Instagram scroll is endless isn’t it? All the new mama influencers you’re following have near-perfect bumps with little weight gain. This can be a big downer when you’re only seeing unrealistic comparisons. Set time restrictions on social media or take a cleanse for a few days to remind yourself that everybody is different and yours is just as beautiful.
6. Self-care to the rescue
Nothing compares to the feeling you get when you strut out of the hair salon after a bouncy blowout. Okay, maybe some things are better than that, but it definitely can lift anyone’s confidence. Indulge in some fake tan, painted nails, or a massage to get you back to feeling like yourself. Do some of the things that made you feel beautiful before pregnancy and enjoy the extra me-time.
7. Cut back on the junk food
Pregnancy cravings are unlike any other beast However, those late night hot chip runs might be leaving you super sluggish in the morning. Feeling this way can often lead to further body negativity, which we don’t want! Treating yourself to some yummy food every now and then is perfectly necessary, but try to avoid doing it to an excess. Feeling healthy will only make you more comfortable and happy in your changing body.
Pregnancy is a beautiful thing, but it’s not always glamorous. The growing areas of your body can make you question if you’re still attractive to your partner. It’s important that you find the confidence in yourself to know that your body is miraculous and appealing. Your partner can only reassure you so much; the real self-esteem comes from working on your mindset and staying healthy. Talk with your partner about what you need to feel irresistible and keep complimenting yourself every day, because you deserve it!
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Emmy Samtani
Follow +Emmy is the founder of Kiindred and mother to 3 little ones. Over the last 4 years, she has worked with some of the most credible experts in the parenting space and is a keen contributor on all things parenthood.