Travel diaries #3: Making friends on the road

One of the reasons we were reluctant to leave our bricks-and-mortar lifestyle behind and try a stint of van life was the fact of leaving our tight-knit community behind.  

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Back home, we were involved in everything from kids’ sports to the local footy club and volunteering. We have a strong circle of friends there. 

So this begs the question, how do we cope without all of that?

After 3 months on the road, it’s safe to say we have found our own community – the travelling community. The nomads, the gypsies, the roamers. Yep, whatever the term, it’s a thing.

Making new friends on the road, as it turns out, is a heck of a lot easier than making new friends back home. 

We’ve connected with so many like-minded people while travelling – some of which we’ll stay in touch with well after our trip ends. 

The cornerstones of roadside friendships

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By nature, travelling families have a lot in common. There are shared values and like-minded views on how you choose to live, similar approaches to parenting, and a mutual desire to raise healthy, active, curious and intrepid explorers. These beliefs are the cornerstone of any friendship and connection on the road.

When you meet fellow travellers, there’s an instant spark and mutual admiration towards each other for having the courage to pack up and do the trip, the motivation to get out and explore, and the positivity to keep on truckin’. You’re all here with the same mindset to embark on adventures and have a darn good time!

The other interesting discovery we’ve made is that travel opens your mind to meeting new people because your lens on the world is permanently set to a wide angle and your sense of curiosity is heightened. You’re not as closed off to social settings; van life removes all barriers, pretences, prejudices, and judgment. 

In the same way, travellers have their walls down. They’re not trying to impress or be something they’re not. You see each other in the raw, exactly as you are – usually in daggy camping gear, salty and sandy after an ocean swim or in your jammies doing a mad dash to the drop toilet.

Everyone is visibly more relaxed; your body language is more open and friendly because you aren’t in a rush or on a tight schedule. You’re open to new experiences; time is on your side and you can have that long yarn or friendly chat that turns into dinner or drinks by the campfire.

You all share a love of country that encourages generosity and inclusivity. You end up connecting and exchanging with people you would have never interacted with back home.

And (at least for my family) travelling makes us the best, shiniest, happiest versions of ourselves. That sort of joy and energy is infectious – it draws people close to you. Our son is a great example of this.

Pulling up at our free camp at Ningaloo Reef, he leaps out of the van at record speed and hightails it to scout the nearest playmate. Everywhere we go he is the first to strike up an instant rapport with another kid his age. It has been so inspiring to watch.

 

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Turning strangers into friends

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We meet people at the beach, in the ocean, at the petrol bowser, at the campsite, hanging out the washing or sitting outside the van cooking. 

The conversation usually starts the same way with “G’day…not a bad life hey?”, followed by “Yep, no complaints here…”

The usual flow of questions consists of:

• Where are you travelling from? 
• Where are you heading?
• Happy with your rig/set-up?
• How long are you on the road for?
• Happy travels – might see you down the coast!

As children, we’re taught about ‘stranger danger’. This is drummed into us from an early age and, in some instances, needs to be. But as we get older, we learn that most strangers are just friends we haven’t yet made.

There’s a real psychology behind making new friends while travelling and why these friendships can outlast the ones you have back home.

The storytelling you do on the road goes much deeper than the standard ‘small talk’ of busy cities. Long-term friendships are created in the brief crossing of paths because the sights and sounds of the daily hustle are no longer a distraction.

Sure, there are the usual conversation starters mentioned above and casual chit-chat about the weather to ease into things, but if you let it simmer long enough, stories and opinions begin to acquire a more personal flavour. You dive deeper because you’re genuinely interested in their life story and there’s a certain trust in sharing the same travel mindset, so you let your guard down.

That’s not to say that you will connect with every single person or family you meet on the road. You have a few categories to sift through to find the gold.

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The types of people you meet on the way

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There are the ‘namedroppers’ who like to tell you every single place they have been to and seen – like the geographic version of celebrity head, only not as exciting. Not to be mistaken for the ‘been there, done that’ collective – those who love to puff their chest out and tell you they have already ticked that off their list. 

Then, there are the ‘whiners’ or the ‘glass half empties’ who, for whatever reason, are simply not enjoying van life and love to tell you so. It’s draining, to say the least.

The ‘serious planners’ who can be a tad scary if you’re like us and prefer to ‘wing it’ and not map out your entire trip.

Then, the ‘stage 5 clingers’ – those who never get the hint that you’re not overly interested in pursuing a new friendship. Harsh as it sounds these can be hard to fend off (particularly if their child is knocking on your door at first light begging to play).

There’s the ‘happy hour crew’ who start off friendly enough as you share a friendly G&T but can end dangerously when you’re cracking open a fourth bottle of gin at 4am with them. 

And finally, the ‘high flyers’ who usually have a 50-foot luxe shiny van, a leaf blower to keep their awning free from sand, three boats, and a helipad on their roof – yep, never trust those.

Wrapping it up

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If you’re open to new experiences and friendships, you may be surprised at the genuine connections you can make on the road. We’ve loved making new friends and meeting them along the way at various camp spots. Just get out there, be your magnetic self and watch the magic unfold.