50 funny Halloween jokes for kids and adults
Growing up in Australia, few of us leaned into the Halloween thing. It was strictly something our American friends enjoyed or we saw on TV shows and in movies.
These days, it’s pretty common to celebrate Halloween with your kids, and to be honest, it’s sort of hard to avoid with decorations everywhere in the shops. Even daycares and schools get in on the action with a bit of Halloween craft.
Sharing a few classic Halloween jokes is a brilliant way to enjoy the spooky spirit without going all out with costumes and trick-or-treating. Or, on the flip side, you’re a Halloween junkie who’s already ticked off Halloween decor and buckets of Halloween candy, and now needs some spooky-themed jokes.
Either way, you’ve come to the right place. We’ve rounded up the funniest and most family-friendly jokes for you and your kids to share this spooky season!
Halloween jokes for kids
Let’s kick things off with some classic kid-friendly Halloween jokes that will be sure to impress your kid’s classmates. Or, try telling one of these Halloween jokes for kids to each of the neighbours who knock on your door while trick or treating. A joke AND some Halloween candy… It’s spook-tacular fun!
What does a panda ghost eat?
Bam-BOO!
Why did the skeleton stay home from the dance?
He had no body to go with.
What do you call a witch who lives at the beach?
A sand-witch.
Why didn’t the skeleton cross the road?
They had no guts.
Why do ghosts go to the party?
They have a lot of spirit!
What’s a ghost’s favourite play?
Phantom of the Opera!
Why was the mummy afraid of trick or treating?
Because he was too wrapped up in himself.
What’s a vampire’s favourite holiday?
Fang-sgiving!
Why don’t skeletons ever fight?
Because they don’t have the guts!
Why do ghosts like to ride elevators?
It lifts their spirits!
What is a vampire’s favourite fruit?
A necktarine!
Why did the mummy go to the Halloween party?
Because he wanted to wrap up the night!
What’s a panda ghost’s favourite snack?
Bam-boo shoots!
Why do witches have great school reports?
They spell everything perfectly.
Why don’t ghosts send letters?
They don’t have any boo-stamps.
Why do ghosts cry?
Because they miss their boo-friends!
Why do skeletons love to play music?
Because they really know how to tickle the ivories!
What does a ghost’s mum say at dinner?
Don’t forget to wash your boo-hands!
Why did the skeleton go to the rock concert?
Because he was a fan of the Grateful Dead!
What’s a skeleton’s favourite snack?
Bone-appétit crackers!
Why was there no food left at the monster party?
Because everyone was a goblin!
What do ghosts serve for dessert?
I-scream.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appetite!
What do monsters eat for breakfast?
Ghost toast with scream cheese.
What did the skeleton order for dinner?
Spare ribs!
What’s a witch’s favourite subject?
Hex-tra credit!
What’s a ghost’s favourite dessert?
Boo-berry pie!
What kind of music do skeletons listen to?
Wrap music.
Why don’t skeletons ever tell jokes?
Because their funny bone is broken!
What’s a ghost’s least favourite room in the house?
The living room!
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Funny Halloween jokes for grown-ups
Why should the kids get all the laughs at Halloween? Perhaps you’re looking for a little halloween small talk for the office? Or maybe you just love the lols. These jokes contain adult themes… like mortgages and cocktails.
At a Halloween party:
Person 1: “Are you a ghost?”
Person 2: “No, but I can be your boo for the night!”
Ghosts don’t like to socialise much at Halloween parties.
Why?
Because they know they’ll just end up ghosting everyone.
The skeleton didn’t go to the Halloween party because… well, he heard there wouldn’t be any body interesting there.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch one of you wants to split the bar tab?
Why do zombies make terrible exes?
Because they’re always trying to dig up the past!
Why did the witch become a successful businesswoman?
Because she knew how to brew up profits!
Why don’t skeletons ever get into arguments?
Because they don’t have the guts… and they don’t want to risk losing face!
Why did Dracula get kicked out of the blood bank?
Because he was caught drinking on the job!
Why don’t vampires ever make a good relationship work?
Because they’re always a pain in the neck!
I asked my wife what she wanted to be for Halloween, and she said, “Something that will really scare you.“
So, naturally, she went as our joint bank account.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Phillip.
Phillip who?
Phillip my cauldron with another cocktail, please!
Halloween knock-knock jokes
If your kids are anything like mine… they can’t seem to get the hang of a knock-knock joke. They’ll start strong and finish with an answer totally unrelated to the start of the joke. It’s only funny because it’s so adorable.
But if you think about it, Halloween really is the perfect time to tell knock-knock jokes, because so many people are out knocking on doors trick or treating! Try out some of these Halloween knock-knock jokes.
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s only a joke!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch one of you wants to share their candy?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Vampire.
Vampire who?
Vampire you glad it’s Halloween?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Witch.
Witch who?
Witch way to the Halloween party?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Boo.
Boo who?
Don’t cry, it’s just a joke!
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Vamp.
Vamp who?
Vamp-ire you ready for Halloween?
Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Pumpkin.
Pumpkin who?
Pumpkin up the volume, it’s a Halloween dance party!
Vampire jokes
Vampires have a long and spooky Halloween tradition. These jokes will have you vamping, and you will be able to count how many laughs you get telling these classic Vampire jokes. They’ll start calling you Count Crack-u-up! Ha!
What’s a vampire’s favourite holiday?
Fangs-giving.
What’s a vampire’s favourite Halloween candy?
Blood pops.
Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank?
He always wanted to work with his favourite drink.
What’s a vampire’s favourite candy?
Anything with bite-sized pieces!
Why did the vampire bring a broom to the party?
He wanted to sweep the competition!
Why did the vampire start a podcast?
Because he wanted to get all the coffin off his chest!
Why did the crazy vampire break up with his girlfriend?
Because she said he was driving her batty!
Why don’t vampires use breath mints?
Because they love having bat breath!
What’s a vampire’s favourite dog breed?
A bloodhound!
Ghost jokes
Not only are they the easiest Halloween costume of all time (just add bed-sheet), ghosts also make the easiest Halloween jokes!
Just add ‘boo’ to things and you have a bunch of age-appropriate hilarious jokes that your kids will love.
What do ghosts put on top of their dessert?
Whipped scream.
Where do ghosts go on holiday?
The Dead Sea.
Why do ghosts make terrible liars?
Because you can see right through them.
What do baby ghosts play with?
Boo-boo bears!
Where do ghosts do their shopping?
At the ghost-ery store.
What’s a ghost’s favourite ride?
A roller-ghoster!
Why did the ghost go to the party?
He heard it was a boo-nanza!
Where do ghosts play with their friends?
The dead end street.
What do ghosts wear to the pool?
Boo-kini!
What’s a ghost’s favourite weather?
Frightening storms.
Why did the ghost need a haunting license?
Because it didn’t want to get boo-ked by the ghost police!
Why did the ghost teacher love her job?
Because she enjoyed giving her students a little spirit!
Where do ghosts shop?
At the boo-tique!
What do ghosts drink at parties?
Boo-berry punch!
Why did the ghost cry at the party?
Because nobody noticed his boo-tiful costume!
What’s a ghost’s favourite play?
Romeo and Ghouliet!
What do fashionable ghosts wear?
Boo-tique brands.
What did the little ghost say to his ghost mom?
“Mummy, you’re so boo-tiful!”
What did one ghost say to the other at the party?
“I’m here for the boos!”
Why do baby ghosts love hide and seek?
Because they get to play peek-a-boo!
Why did the ghost go to the supermarket?
To pick up some boo-berries at the ghost-ery store!
Skeleton jokes
No bones about it, skeletons Skeletons make a great subject for Halloween jokes! Whether they’re cracking a rib or tickling your funny bone, these skeletal puns are bone-afied to make you love Halloween humour.
They might not have guts, but they sure know how to rattle off a good laugh…
Why don’t skeletons dance at parties?
They have no body to move.
What’s a skeleton’s favourite musical instrument?
The trom-bone.
Why did the skeleton laugh at the joke?
Because it tickled his funny bone.
What do skeletons snack on?
Spare ribs.
Why didn’t the skeleton go out in the sun?
He didn’t have the guts!
Why did the skeleton laugh at the joke?
It tickled his funny bone!
What’s a skeleton’s favourite instrument?
The organ!
Why did the skeleton go to the pumpkin patch?
To find himself a ghoul-friend.
What’s a skeleton’s favourite fruit?
Bone-anas!
Why do skeletons play music in bands?
Because they’ve got good rhythm in their bones!
What’s a ghost’s favourite kind of music?
Soul music!
Who won the skeleton beauty contest?
No body!
Why did the skeleton get in trouble at work?
Because he was a real lazy bones!
Why can’t skeletons ever eat candy corn?
Because they don’t have the guts for it!
Witch jokes
Whether they’re stirring up cauldron puns or casting laughing spells, these witch jokes are sure to have you cackling louder than a witch on a broomstick.
From their hex-tra clever wordplay to jokes that will leave you under their humorous spell, witches know how to keep the laughter bubbling all night long.
What’s a witch’s favourite school subject?
Spelling.
Where does a witch park her broom?
In the broom closet.
Why do witches play loud music?
So they can get into the “spell” of things.
Why did the witch’s team lose the big game?
Because she kept throwing “spells” instead of passes!
Why do witches love Halloween parties?
Because they can cast a great spell on the dance floor!
What’s a witch’s favourite makeup?
Vanishing cream.
Why do witches play loud music?
So they can feel the spell-bound beats!
Where do witches park their brooms?
In the broom closet.
Why did the twin witches fail their magic exam?
Because they kept copying each other’s spelling!
What do you call two witches living together?
Broom-mates!
Why did the two witches start a bakery?
Because they knew how to whip up some spell-tacular treats!
Monster Jokes
Okay, the category of ‘monster’ may be broad here – but let’s go with a ‘Monsters Inc.’ interpretation. The perk of these jokes is they nail versatility. No matter what monster you’re referring to, there’s a banger of a joke in there somewhere.
What’s a monster’s favourite cheese?
Scream cheese.
What’s a monster’s favourite play?
Ghoul-ver’s Travels.
What’s a monster’s favourite sport?
Hide and shriek.
What’s a monster’s favourite vehicle?
A monster truck, of course!
What do monsters use to style their hair?
Scare spray!
What’s a monster’s favourite game?
Hide and shriek!
Why did the monster bring a pencil to the party?
Because he wanted to draw some attention!
Why was the monster a terrible comedian?
Because all his jokes were too crypt-ic!
Pumpkin jokes
You’d be pressed to find a street lined with pumpkins and jack-o’-lanterns here in ‘Straya, but it’s essential to the Halloween novelty. So you can bet it made the Halloween jokes list.
What did the pumpkin say to its carver?
Cut it out!
What’s a pumpkin’s favourite sport?
Squash.
Why was the pumpkin afraid to cross the road?
It didn’t want to get smashed.
What do you call a pumpkin who works in IT?
A techno-gourd.
Why didn’t the jack-o’-lantern get into arguments?
Because they just wanted to keep things light!
Why do pumpkins sit outside people’s houses at Halloween?
They want to be noticed!
Why did the pumpkin sit outside all night?
Because it was waiting for a patch-up!
Why did the jack o lantern make a terrible comedian?
It always squashed the punchline!
Why did the pumpkin go trick or treating?
To keep up with the gourd-geous crowd.
Why shouldn’t you tell a jack-o-lantern your secrets?
Because they always spill their guts!
What do you call a monster who can’t stop telling jokes?
A real pun-kin!
Zombie jokes
Even the un-dead know how to have a good time – you could even say they’re drop-dead funny (sorry, we had to.)
Why did the zombie go to school?
He wanted to improve his dead-ucation.
What’s a zombie’s favourite food?
Brain food.
What do you call a zombie sleepover?
A dead-in.
Why do zombies serve soup at Halloween?
Because it’s the easiest thing to “stir” up!
Why did the zombie cross the road?
To catch some brain waves.
What do zombies serve at dinner parties?
Finger food!
Why do zombies never sleep?
They’re always dead tired.
What’s a zombie sleepover called?
A fright-in!
Why do zombies eat clowns?
Because they taste funny!
Why did the zombie go trick-or-treating?
Because he heard the candy was to die for!
Halloween costume jokes
When it comes Halloween – outfits are everything. You can’t celebrate the spooky seasons without them. These jokes cover everything from clothes and costumes to general Halloween humour.
Why did the headless horseman get a job?
He was trying to get ahead in life.
What’s a ghost’s favourite Halloween costume?
A sheet with character!
What did one twin witch say to the other at the Halloween party?
Stop copying my spell!
Why don’t skeletons ever dress up?
They don’t have the guts.
What does a ghost wear to keep warm?
A booo-tie.
Aussie Halloween jokes
Why should our northern hemisphere friends get to have a monopoly on the spooky season? Here are some Aussie Halloween jokes for kids (and adults alike).
What did the Aussie skeleton say after a big barbie?
I’m absolutely stuffed to the bones!
What’s a ghost’s favourite Australian thing?
A boo-merang—because it always comes back!
What do you call a zombie with a surfboard?
A deadset legend!
Why don’t Australian skeletons go surfing?
They’re afraid they’ll wipe out and end up in the bone yard.
What do Aussie ghosts say when they see something amazing?
Boo-ty! That’s a ripper!
What’s scarier than a haunted house in Australia?
A house with no Vegemite in the cupboard!
What do you call a vampire in thongs?
Dead-set relaxed, mate!
Why don’t Aussie ghosts go surfing at night?
Because they’re terrified of great fright sharks!
Halloween riddles
They’re not exactly Halloween jokes, but what better way to get into the spooky spirit than with some hair-raising riddles that will leave you scratching your head? These riddles are a fun way to keep the chills and thrills going all night.
I have a face, but no eyes; hands, but no arms. What am I?
A jack-o’-lantern!
The more you take, the more you leave behind. What am I?
Footsteps!
I’m tall when I’m young, and short when I’m old. What am I?
A candle!
I fly without wings, I cry without eyes. Whenever I go, darkness flies. What am I?
A bat!
What room do ghosts avoid?
The living room!
I have hundreds of ears, but can’t hear a thing. What am I?
A cornfield!
I’m dressed in rags and live in a tomb. When you see me, you’ll likely zoom! What am I?
A mummy!
What can you catch but never throw?
A cold—perfect for Halloween chills!
I’m invisible but you can see me, and if you touch me, I disappear. What am I?
A shadow!
I start out tall, but the longer I stand, the shorter I grow. What am I?
A candle in a pumpkin!
Wrapping it up
Jokes aside (mostly), Halloween may not be the biggest event on the Aussie calendar but it is a chance to have some tongue-in-cheek fun with your family. This holiday lets us embrace the goofy and the spooky, stepping us out of the confines of what’s ‘real.’
It’s the one night of the year when laughter and frights come together perfectly, so have fun with it.
Happy Halloween! 🎃
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