The Pros And Cons Of Sibling Age Gaps

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Shorter Gap – under 3 years
Pros:
- The kids will likely grow up with a closer relationship, as they are closer in age and at similar developmental stages.
- You can navigate these stages as a whole family rather than one child being further ahead and/or being left out.
- Financially this can be a benefit as you can reuse all the baby items before they get too old (and not having to store them taking up space in your house for too long).
- You ride the wave of sleep deprivation all at once and then you’re done with it.
- Siblings with closer age gaps tend to exhibit less sibling rivalry/jealously as the older child is too young to have developed these emotion yet.
- Unfortunately age is a factor for women, so having children sooner gives you a better chance of conceiving and carrying a healthy baby to term.
Cons:
- The closer the kids are in age the more demanding they are likely to be – toddlers require a lot of hands-on care
- Physical needs of toddlers – can be quite physical and need to be carried, lifted in and out of cot etc, which can be very difficult on your body – especially during pregnancy and when you have a newborn
- The physical toll on your body of back-to-back births
- Two children in nappies equals double the cost and double the possible poo explosions
- Dealing with the terrible twos and threenagers means toddlers just finding their feet and their voices, which they aren’t shy about telling you – and not to mention chucking a good old tantrum to get their way
- Closer gaps can also be tough on the hip pocket, without the ability to get back on track after taking time out of work the first time
Longer Gaps – 3 years or more
Pros:
- Older kids can get involved and help out – they often enjoy being made to feel important
- Older kids can be less demanding on you physically, as they are running around and are usually toilet trained by this stage too – which saves on money and time
- If an older child is in preschool/school this frees up your time to focus on the newborn and to give yourself a break from the chaos of two
- You are spreading the cost of the children out, so things like school fees won’t come in one lump sum
- You’ll have more time to get your body fit and healthy again to take on another pregnancy
- You can get back into work/or a career, rather than taking a big block of time out
- You’ll possibly have more energy because you are not looking after a demanding toddler at the same time
Cons:
- Just when you get your sleep (and your life back) – a newborn comes along to take it away again
- You might need to restock up on baby items/equipment if they are too old or don’t meet standard requirements anymore
- Once you do get back into work, you then have to step away again
- As your body gets older your egg count and quality deteriorate – so it may not be as easy a process as you had hoped
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