We need to take female hormones more seriously
Usually I write for all parents, but right now I’m swaying to the female side to talk about parenting with a little thing called hormones.
To start, hormones are chemical messengers that coordinate our bodies’’ different functions. A hormonal change or imbalance can sometimes be the first sign that something is not quite right.
The ‘main’ female sex hormones include oestrogen and progesterone – both of which play a significant role in women’s health from menstruation through to pregnancy and menopause.
These hormones (amongst others) impact our energy levels, our mood, our weight, libido, the condition of our skin and hair, our body temperature, our sleep quality.
If we have too much of one, we are very likely to experience a myriad of symptoms (many of which are not comfortable) and if we have too little of one, the impact is much the same. Symptoms, symptoms, symptoms!
I wanted to write this piece as until I had babies, all I focused on was my period. Once a month I’d bleed and experience a degree of premenstrual syndrome (PMS). There were a few days where I’d feel cranky, irritable, tired , or I’d experience aches and pains. Oh and bloated!
When I started trying for a baby, I expanded my knowledge to include ovulation – the phase of your cycle involving the release of an egg from one of your ovaries (sometimes both).
When I fell pregnant, my knowledge expanded a touch more. I knew I’d be ‘hormonal’ – i.e. I was likely to laugh one minute and cry the next – but that was it.
And finally, postpartum arrived and I just assumed the goal was to stay on alert for any signs of the baby blues, postpartum depression (PND), or postpartum anxiety (PNA).
I read an article or two which informed me that around day two or day three (or when my milk arrived), I’d experience a drastic drop in estrogen and progesterone and potentially the thyroid hormones.
These changes were likely to make me feel moody, a little dark, fatigued and unhappy.
Regarding PND and PNA, I promised myself that if I ever felt unable to cope over continuous days, resentful of the baby, or just laden with unhappy and intrusive thoughts – I’d go to my GP ASAP.
Luckily for me the baby blues and anything more serious kept their distance. Other than sleep deprived, painfully engorged, and a little fish-out-of-water, the birth of my first son left with me with a deep sense of presence, emotional control and energy.
Now fast forward 3 years. My second baby was born – pink, chubby and healthy.
Magic! The first month was a haze of milk, nappies and cuddles – but I was in love.
Around week 5, we noticed the first signs of colic and said goodbye to sleep cycles that lasted any longer than 45-60 mins at a time… for 4 months. Ouch.
This level of sleep deprivation challenged every cell in my body but I coped.
The colic ended, we all started sleeping through the night and I was grateful. No baby blues, no PND or PNA in sight.
Until …
Things (my hormones) started changing
All of a sudden I started to feel ‘woozy’ and a little vague everyday. I was hazy and spaced out. I was forgetful. How do I get to the daycare again? Does the dishwashing liquid go in the fridge or the pantry? What comes first – shampoo or conditioner? Why is the remote in the cutlery drawer? Where am I? What the hell is going on!
It was weird.
I was puffy in the face and body. My skin was dull. I was a shell of a human. But I knew sleep deprivation wasn’t to blame – my body was getting a solid night’s rest.
I didn’t feel depressed or anxious, I just felt completely out of it.
The GP told me I was a mum of 2 under 3. ‘This is normal,’ they said. ‘It’s to be expected.’
I rejected that.
I went back.
The GP said I could be suffering from PND or PNA, and perhaps I needed to up my antidepressants (I’ve been on antidepressants for a decade or so).
I rejected that too.
I knew depression and this was not it. I knew anxiety and this was not it. I knew myself, and this was not it.
I cried to my husband over breakfast one morning, saying that it felt like I was going insane. I told him the world felt completely foreign and forgetting such simple things had started to feel alarming, not to mention frightening. Especially with a newborn baby in my care. I needed some help.
I went back to the GP and asked for a blood test.
Just two days later the GP called and suggested that I pull my car over or just drive home. He said my blood results showed my TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was drastically out of balance.
Where it should be reading 0.4 – 4.0, my levels had reached 161 (Extremely High).
Where my Thyroid Peroxidase Antibody should be reading >6, my levels reached 285.8 (Extremely High).
The unrelenting fatigue, the memory loss, and the evident puffiness were all because my thyroid was under a monstrous amount of stress and had pretty much thrown in the towel because of it.
I asked the GP to email me my results and I took them to 2 other GP’s to gauge their reaction. Both GP’s were in disbelief and quickly diagnosed me with Hashimoto’s Disease – instantly prescribing Thyroxine.
This condition was quite possibly linked to the postpartum hormonal change, plus the level of sleep deprivation over a sustained period of time. Often, experts refer to this as ‘postnatal depletion’ – a physical and mental deterioration caused by the process of giving birth, breastfeeding, and the strains of caring for a child.
Finally, I felt comforted that it was not in my head. I wasn’t going crazy.
From this point onwards, I made a promise with myself to check my hormone levels (via blood tests and occasionally urine samples) every 3-6 months.
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When in doubt, check your hormones
If you ever feel ‘out of control’ or ‘unlike yourself’, it can be hard to decipher the cause. It may be due to the current phase of your cycle, if you’re pregnant or postpartum, if you’re breastfeeding or weaning, or if you’re menopausal.
It might just be because one of your hormones needs addressing (i.e. a lifestyle change or a supplement).
From someone who missed something big and suffered the consequences for far too long, I urge women to visit their GP and ask to have their bloods checked once every 3 or 6 or even 12 months.
These tests should include oestrogen, progesterone, insulin, thyroid hormones, testosterone, DHEA, cortisol – and perhaps also while you’re at it, check your iron, zinc, vitamin B12, vitamin D, copper, magnesium, other B vitamins, vitamin C and fat soluble vitamins such as Vitamin A, E and K2.
Taking hormones seriously
Women are too often and too flippantly labeled as ‘hormonal’ beings. We’re ‘emotional’ and ‘unpredictable’ due to the month cycle of hormonal shifts.
Hormones are not to our detriment – they’re our strength. Hormones are insightful indicators that something may be off or out of balance. In so many ways, they’re helpful, protective and supportive.
So we owe it to ourselves to nurture our hormones like we nurture our fitness, our sleep, our diet, our relationships, our lifestyle.
And we owe it to ourselves to not mistake hormonal shifts as ‘moodiness’. Hormonal shifts are recalibrations of the brain.
Regardless of where you are in life (age, career title, kids/no kids etc), you should never fall down because of your hormones.
Final thoughts
Women are not just placed on earth to raise children, juggle the mental load and feel tired because of it.
If any of this is resonating, I urge you to talk to your GP and rediscover your smile. Trust me. It’ll benefit both you and the demanding (yet cherished) role as a mother.
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