I went travelling with 8 kids. Here’s what I learnt

I recently travelled to Exmouth (Western Australia) with 3 other families - amounting in a total of 8 kids aged between 4 months and 9 years.  

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With such a varied collection of personalities came games, adventure, play, giggles, and (naturally) exhaustion! My two boys took turns in ‘burning out’ and melting down. 

You know when they drop the floor, turn red and expel tears, snot and defiance? Yep – that. 

80% of the time they were troopers but 25% of the time (usually between 7am and 10am) we had an explosive load of emotions on our hands. They were so tired, they simply didn’t know what to do with themselves. So we’d pop them in the car, go for a cruise and let them sleep it off for 30-60 mins.

You just can’t reason with youngsters when they’re in that ‘state’, can you? And there’s almost no point in trying as all of your efforts fall on deaf ears, leaving you feeling irritated, frustrated and anxious.

Over the 8 days, I had a few observations as to what worked well with big groups of kids on holidays … and what perhaps did not.

Bring group activities

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Avoid packing small individual toys (cars, figurines, dolls, etc.) as they’ll all end up wanting to play with the same thing at the same time. This is when fights, snatching, and tears arise.

Instead, focus on packing group based toys or activities.These ideas mean all of the kids can get involved and share in the play;

• Puzzles
• Books such as ‘Where’s Wally’ or spot the difference themes 
• Games such as Twister, lawn bowls (the kids plastic ones as the real deal are likely to break a toe!), outdoor quoits, balls and/or hoola-hoops
• A big tub of Duplo (perhaps avoid Lego in groups where some children are under 1 or 2 years for safety precautions. Same goes with marbles)
• Colouring pencils, crayons and paper or scrap books 
• Old school games such as Barrel of Monkeys or Pick Up Sticks (watch out they’re not the sharp stickers to avoid potential injury) 
• Glow sticks for after the sun sets

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Don’t pull out treats without checking in

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If you treat your kids (food wise), ask the other parents before handing it over in front of other kids (or offering those kids treats too.)

Assuming every parent is on the same page when it comes to particular ‘treat’ foods is probably not wise.

For example, on one particular morning my boys had ice poles before 10am (I know, terrible parenting!) I naturally went to offer them around not realising other kids had yet to finish (or even touch) their breakfast. 

This left parents in awkward positions. Not my finest hour! However, it was a good learning experience.

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Pander to ‘tired cues’ early

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On more than one occasion, I noticed my 4 year old getting upset at not ‘getting a turn’ or dobbing on his mates for trivial things. 

I’d help him calm down or sort out the situation the first few times, but after that I’d take him away for a solo activity (a.k.a camouflaged ‘quiet time.’) 

I didn’t do this to spoil his fun or make a scene in front of the other kids. It was quite the opposite. If his mood continued as it were, he’d very quickly become emotionally drained. And we all know what happens next! 

To mitigate the meltdown, I’d suggest we go and do something else he loved for 30 or so minutes – just to let him decompress. For example, we might duck inside and make some pancakes, play a few rounds of noughts and crosses – or if we were at the beach, we’d collect shells or make a sandcastle. 

Even if I was mid-conversation with a fellow parent, it was crucial for my husband or I to nip these moods in the bud. 

This may be controversial, however (personally) I am not opposed to allowing the kids to have a pinch of TV time.

When appropriate, particular cartoons (I see you Bluey … I do not see you Cocomelon) can encourage tired kids to find stillness and settle down for a bit.

Spend quality time with the other kids

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If you notice another parent needing (or wanting) some alone time to shower, clean or simply rest – ask if their children might like to play a game or help you out with something. 

As well as helping out another parent, it’s a beautiful chance to get to know your friends’ kids. 

I would do crosswords every few days and the older kids would flock around wanting to help. Having them in my company was so fascinating! I could get to know their personalities and work out why my own kids formed such great connections with them. 

If you’re travelling with families you don’t know very well, spending time with other kids is also a great parent to parent conversation starter.

Do a quick ‘parent check' as soon as you arrive

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By this I mean questions like: 

• Any food allergies?
• Any particular rules about what your kids can and cannot eat?
• Are there any words or phrases you prefer we don’t say in front of the kids?

Scoping these out on day one can avoid unintentional friction or offence. Better to be safe than sorry. 

Be flexible

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When on holidays with groups, you’ll find that your routine is starkly different to those you’re with. If you can bear it, try and bend the rules a little bit so the kids sense a relaxed holiday too. 

For example, let’s say you usually bathe your kids at 4.30pm. But on the trip, 4.30pm is when the other kids are kicking a ball outside or making a cubby.

Give your kids the chance to join in and then bathe them after. As much as we still want to use discipline where necessary, we also want our kids to enjoy playing with others.

Don’t feel embarrassed if your child is being difficult

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On the days my boys were hard work, it was hard not to feel mortified. Why can’t they behave like the others? Why is he complaining when the other kids aren’t? Did he just snatch that toy!?!

Every single parent in your company will understand.

In fact they’ll probably look over thinking, ‘Oh thank god it’s not just my kid who cracks it!” 

We are all just doing our best, as are our children. Travelling in groups is joyful and the memories made are incredibly precious. It’s not uncommon for young children to become overstimulated, overtired and overzealous. 

So, as mentioned earlier, try and pick up on tired ques fast and invite your child for some calming/solo play. This is for everyone’s benefit, trust me.

Let the kids take photos!

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I had a disposable camera in Exmouth and the kids went nuts for it. It was a beautiful chance to capture play through their own eyes, and also just hilarious explaining what an old school camera was. 

I will get the snaps developed and keep the memories as a keepsake for them as their friendships grow through time. Sure, 90% of the photos will be of people’s feet or nostrils – but hey, that’s a memory in itself right?