How to explain Autism to Children

Zofishan Umair

Zofishan is a journalist, humour columnist, and a mum who has survived nappy explosions mid-air. She has over a decade of experience writing for print and online publications and is currently working on her first book.

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Updated on Mar 31, 2025 · 13 mins read

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Autism shapes the way many children experience the world - how they think, connect, and process everything around them. It's an integral aspect of a kid's identity.

Maybe your child has received an autism diagnosis and you’re wondering how to explain it in a way that makes sense. Or maybe they have a classmate, cousin, or friend who is autistic, and they’re curious about why that person thinks or behaves differently.

So how do you put something so complex into words that are both honest and reassuring?

How much information is too much information?

And, most importantly, how do you answer the tough questions when you’re still figuring them out yourself?

We’ve partnered with Emily Hanlon, clinical psychologist and founder of The Playful Psychologist, to create this guide on how to explain autism to children.

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Understanding autism

When autism is framed with clarity, compassion, and empowerment, children begin to see neurodiversity as a normal and natural part of the human experience.

Autistic children can take pride in who they are, and neurotypical kids can learn to appreciate differences rather than misunderstand them.

By shifting the narrative from “less than” to “different,” parents can help their child take pride in their unique way of thinking. And by fostering an awareness that autism is different rather than a deficit, well, parents can allow children to be proud of their brains being different!

Some kids do feel like their brain gives them special powers, and others just appreciate understanding how theirs works.

Unfortunately, autistic children are often expected to fit into a neurotypical world in ways that don’t feel natural to them but are instead more reflective of neurotypical social skills. This can be exhausting and, at times, even painful. That’s why it’s so important to have honest, developmentally appropriate conversations about autism—whether your child is autistic or not.

And in a world that often prioritises neurotypical perspectives, these honest conversations can help your child’s identity while creating a sense of belonging.

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Step 1: Talk about the amazing autistic brain

The best way to describe autism in a way that resonates will depend on your child. That’s because autism is unique for each person, so the best description of it is in terms of the child’s own experience.

But here are a few examples to help you put it into words:

For autistic children:
“Your brain works differently from some other people’s. It notices details others might miss, and it can focus really deeply on things you love. But sometimes, because your brain processes so much at once, things can feel a bit overwhelming. That’s okay!”

For neurotypical children:
“Autistic people have brains that work differently, just like how some people are really fast runners and others are amazing at puzzles. This means they might communicate in different ways, like using fewer words or focusing really hard on something they love. It doesn’t mean they’re unfriendly – it just means they experience the world differently and it is our job to try our best to chat to them in a way that makes everyone feel comfortable”

This individualised attitude ensures that the child understands that autism is a part of who they are, not something applied to them from the outside.

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Step 2: Identify autistic strengths

Because autistic minds are wired differently, they have special strengths.

The concept of “brain highways,” where certain abilities come naturally due to strong neural networks, is an excellent approach to convey this.

While every autistic person is different, here are some strengths that many may share.

Strong and fierce passions- aka big feelings and big energy!
Extensive expertise in particular fields – maybe an in-depth knowledge of dinosaurs?
Honest and dependable – like a real-life superhero!
Thrive with rituals and structure and how they prefer routine and repetitive behaviours.
Hyperfocus on interesting tasks – like a detective on things they love.
A keen sense of detail and sensory sensitivity – they notice tiny details and experience the world in a big way.
Distinct social skills – they have a unique way of showing feelings and sharing ideas.

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Step 3: Explain the challenges

Autistic children face challenges, not because something is wrong with them, but because the world is often designed for neurotypical individuals. It’s important to acknowledge these challenges and bring them up in conversations.

These could include:

Navigating social situations
Finding eye contact uncomfortable or distracting (which is perfectly okay)
Adapting to sudden changes in routines
Understanding social cues and jokes
Managing sensory overload
Advocating for their needs in school

This knowledge also helps neurotypical kids be kinder and more understanding friends.

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Step 4: Make them feel welcomed

Autistic children may feel isolated, but they are part of a large and vibrant community.

That’s why parents must introduce their children to autistic role models, whether through books, videos, or real-life connections, to show them that being autistic is something to embrace.

Celebrating autistic voices and success stories like Greta Thunberg (environmental activist), Caragh McMurtry (Olympic rower and autism advocate), and Jerry Seinfeld (comedian) can help children see the incredible things that autistic individuals have accomplished. And knowing they are part of a supportive network can be incredibly reassuring.

(I would include some autistic sports stars here as well as many children will resonate with their stories!!)

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Step 5: Support

Support comes in all forms so it’s important to help kids get access to the tools they need to succeed.

For some, this might mean:

Utilising technology (voice-to-text, tablets) to support communication and planning
Collaborating with therapists and teachers to establish social and academic plans
Designing sensory-friendly spaces with aids such as noise-cancelling headphones or fidget materials
Finding activities and clubs where they can meet up with peers of similar interests

The objective is to have an atmosphere that makes the child feel secure and empowered and not under pressure to become what is deemed “neurotypical.”

Importantly, while some autistic people benefit from support, not all will need formal therapies of assistive tools. Some may just benefit from understanding and acceptance.

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Step 6: From self-acceptance to self-advocacy

One of the greatest gifts you can give an autistic child isn’t just support – it’s the ability to ask for it.

Allowing autistic kids to speak clearly to express their needs is perhaps one of the finest ways of accommodating their self-advocacy, whether that be via verbal communication or another form of communication that feels more comfortable to them. While teaching them to self-advocate means they won’t just navigate the world; they’ll own their place in it.

They’ll know their strengths, recognise their challenges, and—most importantly—be able to tell others exactly what they need to thrive.

So parents and teachers need to encourage autistic kids to express their needs with simple vocabulary and teach them that requesting accommodation is completely acceptable and never something to be embarrassed of.

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6 tips for parents when talking about autism

Here are some key pointers to ensure the conversation is positive and motivating:

1. Use age-appropriate language

Kids absorb information differently depending on their age, so keep it simple for the little ones. Think bite-sized explanations!

For older kids, you can get a bit more technical – introducing terms like “neurodivergence” and “neurotypical.”

The goal is to help them understand autism in a way that makes sense for them.

2. Celebrate their strengths and the milestones

Autism is often discussed in terms of challenges, but it’s equally important to recognise the many strengths that can come with a different neurotype.

Whether it’s a strong memory, deep focus, or a unique way of thinking and problem-solving, these qualities are meaningful and valuable, and they deserve to be seen and celebrated.

3. Show, don’t tell: Use those visual aids

For many children, visual aids can make conceptual things easier to understand and help children relate better. Explain autism through books, movies, and even firsthand accounts of autistic persons. (We share some great resources below! )

4. Brace yourself – and embrace the questions

Kids have zero chill when it comes to curiosity. The moment they learn something new, the floodgates open: “Can autism make you a superhero? Is it contagious? Does it mean I can talk to dolphins?”

And that’s great! You want to be their go-to guy for all sorts of questions – autism and otherwise.

Give honest, straightforward answers, even if they ask the same thing five different ways. The more they understand, the fewer myths and misunderstandings stick around.

And remember – it’s okay to not have all the answers.

5. Rethink “problematic” behaviours

There are a lot of misunderstandings and rumours regarding autism. Teaching kids about neurodiversity promotes a society that is more tolerant and inclusive.

Rather than labelling behaviours as “bad” or “weird,” help children understand that actions like rocking, hand-flapping, or repeating words are ways some autistic people regulate their emotions or make sense of their environment.

There’s actually a term for it, called ‘stimming’. It refers to repetitive behaviours or motions that you may use to help cope with emotions.

These behaviours might look different from what your child is used to, but different doesn’t mean wrong or less. It just means that people experience and respond to the world in their own unique ways.

Teach kids that it’s not random; it’s self-soothing, like when you hum your favourite song or tap your foot when nervous.

6. Promote empathy and acceptance

Help kids understand that not everyone sees the world the same way – and that’s a good thing!

When kids embrace differences instead of tolerating them, friendships strengthen, recess becomes more fun, and the world becomes a whole lot more inclusive (one high-five at a time).

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Explaining autism in specific situations

Parents and other adults who care for children often find themselves explaining autism to relatives, friends, or members of the community. Because every autistic person is unique, their strengths and support needs can vary widely. Some may need more day-to-day support, while others may be more independent, but all deserve to be understood and respected for who they are. Ive just tried to reword this to be a bit more neuroaffirming

Explaining the autism diagnosis to siblings

Having a sibling is already a unique experience – one moment you’re playing together, the next you’re navigating differences and sharing space in big ways. When a sibling is autistic, it might mean your family does things a little differently sometimes—and that’s okay.

Here are some ways to help siblings understand and embrace those differences:

“Everyone’s brain works in its own way.” Autism means your sibling experiences the world differently, especially when it comes to things like communication, social interaction, and routines. Their way of thinking and feeling is just as valid – even if it’s not the same as yours.
“Their routines and habits help them feel safe.” If your sibling likes things a certain way – like having the same breakfast every day or watching the same show on repeat – it’s not strange or wrong. These familiar routines help them feel calm and in control.
“You’re important too.” Sometimes your sibling might need extra support, but that doesn’t mean your needs aren’t seen. It’s completely okay to ask for one-on-one time or to talk about how you’re feeling. Every person in the family matters – including you.

Explaining autism to family members who just don’t get it…yet!

After a child’s diagnosis, one of the hardest conversations isn’t just with the child – it’s with the family members who don’t quite get it. The ones who refuse to acknowledge the science, like a well-meaning aunt who insists “he’ll grow out of these problematic behaviours,” or a grandparent who thinks “kids these days are just different.”

It can be frustrating, but these conversations matter because family plays a huge role in a child’s support system.

This might also involve setting up boundaries. Sometimes, you may need to gently redirect unhelpful conversations or limit exposure if a family member is unwilling to adapt their views.

Explaining autism to peers

Kids can be mean and bullying is a serious problem in Australia. So, it’s important to teach peers about autism and why they need to be kind and patient. (Seriously, it takes less energy than being mean).

Children who have a better understanding of autism are more empathetic toward their peers with autism. This lessens loneliness by fostering more wholesome connections and social engagements.

These conversations and a little understanding can turn a classroom into a team, not a battlefield. Bullying can be avoided, and autistic peers can feel more welcomed if their classmates are tolerant and compassionate.

Explaining autism to teachers and caregivers

Supporting a child with autism isn’t a solo mission – it takes a team. And educators and caregivers play a huge role in creating an environment where autistic children can thrive.

However, they can only provide the ‘right support’ if they truly understand an autistic child’s needs.

By sharing insights about a child’s learning style, social challenges, sensory preferences, and communication strengths, parents can help teachers and caregivers move beyond a “one-size-fits-all” approach.

Whether it’s using visual aids, adjusting classroom routines, or simply being patient with transitions, small changes can make a big difference.

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Resources

The following books, videos, and organisations can help provide further insight and support in an affirming and positive way.

Books

Books can be a great way to educate kids and even ourselves about the autistic brain.

Numerous publications provide readers with empathy and a deeper comprehension of developmental differences by illuminating the lives of individuals with autism.

For readers 3 years and above:

Remarkable Remy by Dr Melanie Heyworth
Just Right For You by Dr Melanie Heyworth
When My Brain Is Messy by Tania Wieclaw

For older children (Ages 8 and Above)

The Girl Who Thought in Pictures: The Story of Dr. Temple Grandin by Julia Finley Mosca
Can You See Me? by Libby Scott and Rebecca Westcott

Media

Amazing Things Happen

A short, engaging animation that explains autism in a way that is easy for children and families to understand.

Everything You Know About Autism is Wrong (TEDx Talk by Jac den Houting)

A powerful talk by an autistic psychologist and activist who explains how receiving an autism diagnosis was one of the best things that ever happened to her. (Love this one!)

Famous Autistic Individuals

A collection of videos showcasing autistic people in various fields, from musicians and actors to scientists like Einstein.

Meet Julia (Sesame Street)

Julia, an autistic character on Sesame Street, was created with the autistic community in mind and is supported by the parent of an autistic child. Julia’s stories help children understand autism in a relatable way.

Organisations

If you’d like to learn more about autism, the following Australian organisations are working to support autistic adults, children on the autism spectrum, and their families.