8 Reasons to join a mother’s group

Being a new mum can be scary and often isolating no matter how prepared you feel, so having an extra support network can be life-changing. These days, more than ever, the options for support groups for mums are extensive. You can attend the mum’s group run by your local early childhood health centre, or find one via word-of-mouth, social media, or online.

The idea might scare you – and that’s okay

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The idea of a mother’s group can strike fear in even the most confident of women. We’ve all heard the horror stories about bitchiness and judgy mums, and the idea of sitting in a room with a bunch of strangers and a screaming baby on your boob sounds like your idea of hell.

Not only that, but when you’re with a baby 24/7, the last thing you might want to talk about is… babies. Unfortunately, that tends to be the main topic in mother’s groups – at least at first. So you might be tempted to skip yours altogether.

But before you pre-judge and decide that ‘mother’s groups aren’t for me’, here are a few reasons why you should reconsider and give them a go.

1. Friendships (and extra support)

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You may go along and not click with anyone and decide it’s not for you. Nothing lost, nothing gained, and that’s fine. BUT, you also might find some fellow parents who are on your wavelength and go on to be lifelong friends. Or you might find something in-between – which is still a win.

Having other mums going through exactly what you are, at the same time as you, is incredibly helpful. Because even if you have friends who’ve had kids, they often don’t remember all the little things that feel so huge in the moment.

Having someone to message and say “my boobs are leaking like crazy HBU?” or even just to send funny memes to at 3am is priceless.

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2. How are they assigned?

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This might be surprising, but it’s allocated by your local public health district, and you’re usually assigned a group based on your location and the date you had your baby – meaning you’re grouped with other local mums with similarly aged bubs. Makes sense, right?

That shared timing can make the support feel even more relevant.

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3. It doesn’t have to be in person if you don’t want it to be

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Meeting in person isn’t everyone’s thing, or you might not feel ready to leave the house with your little one just yet. Thankfully, there are plenty of online options available too. You can still build your support network with just a few clicks.

4. An excuse to get you out of the house

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In those early weeks and months, just getting out of the house can feel like climbing Everest. So having a reason to get up, showered (maybe – no judgement!) and out the door is worth its weight in gold.

It’s easy to fall into a rut, especially when you’re stuck at home. But getting fresh air, moving your body, and maybe even grabbing a coffee can do wonders for your mental health.

Sure, there may be that one mum who looks effortlessly fresh-faced while the rest of you resemble extras from The Walking Dead, but it’s incredibly freeing to have a space where no one cares if you rock up with baby vomit on your shirt.

5. Everyone is in the same boat

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You might think everyone else has it all together – spoiler alert: they don’t. They’re tired, overwhelmed, figuring things out as they go… just like you.

There’s very little pressure to be “on” – everyone there knows the drill.

6. Reassurance and reality checks

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Mother’s groups can be a lifeline when you’re trying to work out if what your baby is doing is normal. Wondering why they suddenly want to feed non-stop, or if you should be worried about how much they’re sleeping (or not sleeping)? Having a few trusted people to run things past – who are in the same stage – is incredibly reassuring.

Even just knowing that there are others you know that wide awake feeding or attempting to resettle a wide-awake baby in the wee small hours, can help you feel less alone in the early days.

7. It’s your baby’s first friendship group

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These groups aren’t just good for you – they’re also great for your baby. As they grow, interacting with other babies their age helps with development. And because you all live in the same area, your children may go on to attend daycare or school together.

Watching their early friendships blossom, and those adorable first social interactions is a bonus.

8. There’s no obligation to stay…

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You’ve heard the stories – the cliques, the judgement, the competitive parenting. The Mozart-listening, sleeping-through-the-night-at-six-weeks mums.

But remember – this isn’t high school. There’s no obligation to be there, or to stay if it doesn’t feel right or the group just ‘aren’t your people’.

You don’t have to talk to anyone who doesn’t make you and your baby feel good. If your little one cries through the entire session – it’s fine. If it’s your turn this week, it’ll be someone else’s next time.

Try sitting near the back or close to the snack table until you feel more comfortable. Chances are, you’ll find some like-minded mamas before long.